Balloons. What's the use? 

On the one hand they're synonymous with the good times – playfully batted around a dance floor, flanking a table of extravagant hors d'oeuvres or taped to the garden gate to symbolise there's a "party over here!" 

On the other they're a depressing reminder of your wretched old age, colourful orbs telling you that you should definitely be having more fun than you are; getting in your face as you try to clear up a pile of last night's alcohol-drenched debris. 

Unless you're a 3 year old (and even then), balloons do not make a party – they're the inflatable illusion of fun. So why not celebrate honesty and undermine the big occasion with these thoroughly Abusive Balloons.

Product details:

• Suitable for ages 8+ (They're a choking hazard, and children probably shouldn't know the word "f*ck" quite just yet, "sh*t" maybe.)
• Pack of 12 brutally honest balloons: 4x Red - F*CK ME YOU'RE OLD, 4x Yellow - HAPPY F*CKING WHATEVER, 4x Orange - THIS PARTY IS SH*T
• Printed on both sides
• Use them to put a downer on someone's (or even your own) big day
• Can be filled with helium or your own minty/garlic fresh breath
• Dimensions: Balloons inflate to approximately 25cm (10")